The butter curse.
Look, living with a house full of other dudes has many advantages.
I have never laughed so much and so hard.
These people are fun, good natured, and a pleasure to be around.
But you can't have everything in life.
Butter for example. 
I have come to accept the fact that..I can no longer eat butter.
This is just a fact of life in this rugged land.
Check this out, this afternoon I went to Safeway and bought 25 lbs of butter.
I came home, put it in the fridge. I then went into my room and pet my cat Pi for exactly one and a half minutes. Then I came out to the kitchen to make a slice of toast. You guessed it. All the butter was gone. Every last bit of it, and the wrappers licked clean. That is just the way it is and there is no way to change this. Even if I brought home 5000 lbs of butter, it would not last eleven seconds in this house.
I think this has something to do with that gypsy woman I bumped into at Coney Island on my seventeenth birthday. She was making waffles and I was still in a daze from seeing the siamese twin cow. I accidentally backed into her, and knocked her last cube of Land Of Lakes Unsalted Extra Creamy out of her hand and it fell into the the sand. She gave me a super evil look and whispered some "Mumbo Jumbo" at me. My life has never been the same since. But I can't complain. At least no one eats my cat food, right? And it's not bad on a bagel. Especially the Savory Salmon Feast. I'm learning to like this stuff. Heck, my cat loves it, but then, she licks her own butt.
Soooo.
Anyway, just a word of caution, in a crazy, crazy world.